on our way to my grandmas house... I had my head up in the sky... and from a distance I see a CJ.
I love it when I get love notes from everyone... letting me know that CJ put it for them to send to me. I know he does too, he works though people to send me some love.
I was texting my friend the other day... and this is our conversation. It really made me smile because people know how much I love CJ... and they still know our love continues.
Her: anything unusually heart shaped makes me think of you now.
Me: I search for them
Her: And you will always find them! CJ is always placing them for you to find. Just another game you two can play :)
Me: He is a gamer
Her: Definitely, I'm sure you have found all the ones he has hid. He likes to challenge you but loves it when you find them. So he always makes sure you do :) Like when you would block his hits in volleyball or hit the ball over him. He liked challenging you but loved your happened when you scored on him. I'm sure its the same now.
I can't even tell you what perfect timing this conversation was. How I am more aware of the tender mercies. How the little things are HUGE in my book. Finding a heart... or forcing a heart in everything I see, helps me to keep going. Its been 15 months... the longest months, weeks, days, hours of my life. Without my love notes and love and prayers from everyone around me, I dont know how I would be where I am now. Yes, I wish I was happy and with my CJ... but now I have to work hard to get back to him. I miss him, SO MUCH!
Here are some I have found... some that people have given me. I plan on collecting all the heart rocks and making a love note wall. Some how making a deep enough frame/box so that I can put a heart in each box with the year and state I found it in.... someday I will figure out how to actually do this.
Since it is now 4:15am.. I should probably try to sleep. It's a hard thing for me these days... I just can't turn off my brain some nights. Tonight is a prime example. I love and miss my husband. Each day I am one day closer....