Monday, January 28, 2013

My CJ.. first in line

I found this picture and cannot stop thinking about it. It is so beautiful. 

In the gospel of Jesus Christ you have help from both sides of the veil, and you must never forget that. When disappointment and discouragement strike--and they will--you remember and never forget that if our eyes could be opened we would see horses and chariots of fire as far as the eye can see riding at reckless speed to come to our protection. They will always be there, these armies of heaven. I know my CJ is first in line. I know this is so true. I find a lot of strength in this picture. I love my CJ COMPLETELY! Words cannot express how much and how deep my love for him is. These past month have been a struggle... but my LOVE for him continues to grow.

I love my CJ.. always HAVE... always WILL

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

Oh,Keri! You don't know me, but your story saddened me so much when I heard it at the time of C.J.'s passing. Today I was reminded of you by Nienie & so grateful that I could read your post & see this picture. (Pls tell me where I can get it. It is so comforting & beautiful.) I have two children on the other side and, yes, I miss them terribly but feel their embrace through the veil. God bless you and keep you safe through this time.

Julie Beck said...

I'm sure you're going to get so many hits from Stephanie's blog, I hope you don't mind.

This picture is so special, I feel it too. I'm so sorry for the pain and trial you have had to go through, and continue to go through. I love the quote from Elder Holland you shared. It's been a difficult year for me dealing with mental illness after the birth of my third baby and I can just feel his fatherly love and hear his voice telling us to keep on.

Anonymous said...

Like the previous comment stated, I was reminded of your blog today by NieNie. You are such a beautiful person. I can't imagine the pain you have felt, but I also can't imagine the spiritual experiences you have experienced either. I sense that you have a very real understanding of life on the other side. I know you are and will be blessed.
Love, Jillian

Liv Hochhausler said...

My brother-in-law was also hit by a car and killed while riding his bike to work (on 5/12/11). He spent two weeks in the NSICU before he passed. I love the beautiful painting that you posted and I hope that you have comfort today and always.

Anonymous said...

The way you describe your love is every bit what I feel about my marriage and husband. It tears me up because I live in such fear of a similar loss in my life, I can't imagine facing what you face everyday. I'm heart broken for you that you can't enjoy your marriage in this earthly life and I just wanted to say that you are an inspiration and no doubt the Lord must have amazing blessings in store for you! I admire you for your courage to get up and face the day everyday in an effort to make him proud! No doubt he looks on proudly for you everyday. I hope in the quiet of the night as you hold something of his, or pour out your soul in prayer, I hope you can close your eyes and FEEL his arms wrapped around you and hear his voice in your mind. I hope you are blessed with amazing spiritual experiences to help you keep putting one foot in front of the other. I'm sorry that Valentines Day is such a horrible day for you to face now, I just want you to know, you have one more prayer going up to heaven on your behalf. May you be SHOWERED with blessings in this earthly life. May every sunset touch you deeply and help you to take the steps needed everyday to honor the love of your life in this earthly life. Oh...I'm so so sorry! I love your smile and pray it can find its way more and more in your life through small blessings and constant memories. Big, huge, vitrual (non stalker) hugs from an anonomous Nie Nie reader.

Karen from T Town said...

What a beautiful picture. God bless you and comfort you. Love and prayers of support from Tuscaloosa Alabama. I know you have one amazing guardian angel watching over you.

Megan Marie said...

Dear Keri,
( I just came from Nie Nie)

Thank you so much for sharing this piece of art. I'm having a hard day and seeing this piece of artwork has helped me realize the blessings that are awaiting me, and angels truly want to bear me up. The picture is now my desktop background and now I'm ready to conquer the rest of my BYU day! Thank you again.

Sincerely,
Megan

Shell's Diaries said...

I too am touched by the beautiful painting and your story. I know that words cannot express what you have been going through. I lost my first baby, just shy of 4 months old Valentine's night (well, 2:30 a.m. on the 15th) I used to struggle with that holiday, but have been able to look at it in a different light all these years later. It has been 15 years, this year, time has helped. But it has become a bitter sweet time for me. A time to reflect on the true meaning of love, the love our Heavenly Father has for all of us. May Heavenly Father bless you for the remainder of your life. As is said in D&C 58:3 "Ye cannot behold with your natural aeyes, for the present time, the design of your God concerning those things which shall come hereafter, and the bglory which shall follow after much tribulation." I am sure you are already familiar with this scripture. I lost a baby. You lost your husband. I cannot understand what you have been going through, but know that I, so many of us, who found you through nie nie, are so touched by you.

kaitlynsays said...

*I left this on your other blog but wanted to add here as well :)*

Keri,

I also discovered your blog today thanks to NieNie. I just wanted to say that I am so in awe of your strength and your faith. Your story breaks my heart; I am so sorry for your loss. I wish your husband was still here on this earth, although I do believe he is with you every single day.

I also wanted to say thank you for sharing your story as it reminds me that we all must cherish each and every day with the ones we love because tomorrow is never guaranteed. I lost my best friend in October 2012 and I, too, am just trying to cherish every memory... even though all I want to do is make new ones with her.

I wish you peace and more happy moments than sad ones (although I understand that is much easier said than done). I am praying for you.

With love,
Kaitlyn

Bonnie Card said...

Keri,

I follow NIeNie's blog. It truely is a small world. I found that she shared your story on her blog today. I heard about CJ's accident from my daughter's awesome piano teacher, Dani Miller. One day awhile back we arrived at the lessons to find her very sad. She shared with us that her cousin's husband had been killed in a biking accident that morning. I prayed for you that night. I'm grateful you've shared your story and life with CJ on your blog. It shows how strong your testimony is and what great faith you have. Thanks. CJ is proud, no doubt.- Bonnie Card

AmyF said...

I also read about you on NieNie's blog. I lost my husband of 11 years in 2006. It's so horrible and tragic to lose your spouse, your other half. Your faith in God will carry you through it. May he bring you comfort.
Amy

Anonymous said...

Keri,
I found your story through a friend and I have been touched ever since. I have faced my own challenges in the last six months, and after reading your blog I was filled with some much perspective. Thank you for giving your story to others to learn and grow from. You are an inspiration. You have one special spirit, that is for sure. I can't wait to see all the good you will do in the world in the days ahead (you already have done so much)! Especially with your CJ helping you a long the way. Thank you so very much.

Melanie Dawson Mullineaux said...

I know I don't know you, but my heart breaks for you. My name is Melanie and on April 14, 2011 my husband, who was just 35, had a heart attack and passed away. We got married when I was 18 and had three children. I don't remember much about the first year after he passed. I recently remarried and am finding a way to put my life back together. I hope you are able to find some peace.

Brenda Epps said...

I love this picture! I think it would bring such peace and comfort to my sister in law who is going through treatment for breast cancer. Do you know the artist or how I can go about finding this in print?

Annalisa said...

beautiful. may you find the strength to continue to share your love and hope. i know he'll be first in line to greet you.

hugs,
annalisa
http://ifthouknewest.blogspot.com

Dorothy said...

lly want that picture~~~~

Sharee Wolfley said...

Oh my goodness Keri, what a touching story you are LIVING. I know God has a plan for you. I know He is preparing you for amazing things ahead - you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Emily Romney Dawe said...

This song is originally about babies passing away and adoption but it has such a good message. Your CJ must have had a lot of work he needed to do on the other side while he watches over you. You are never alone. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

"What's Mine is Yours" by Katherine Nelson.
What’s mine is yours
It’s always been
What slips through my hands has your fingerprints on it
I’m letting go
Remembering
Though Heaven’s doors feel shut they’re wide open
What’s mine is yours
In this life we come and go and say goodbye
But there’s more than we can see with our own eyes
And when my faith’s a thread-bare blanket and I can’t take it anymore
I remember

What’s mine is yours

I’m letting go
Remembering
Though heaven’s doors feel shut they’re wide open
What’s mine is yours

Barbara said...

This is an absolutely beautiful picture. Thank you for posting it. Thank you for sharing your love story and your courage with us.

Do you know who the artist is or how we could order copies of that picture?

Jeannine said...

This image has given me shivers from my shoulders right down to my ankles, no kidding. How absolutely gorgeous. I am of a different "denomination" for lack of a better word, but we share so much in our love for Christ and for the cloud of witnesses who surround us on heaven and earth. Love, love, love. Thank you so much for sharing. I'm definitely following your story and putting you in my reader.

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