fighter.

Sometimes I think that CJ wants to kick me in the butt.. I miss him. He was always my biggest fan, my coach, and my best friend that always believed in me. Days are hard, he is always on my mind and in my heart. I am learning to carry it better and function, but it DOES NOT MAKE IT EAISER. I  will always carry him in my heart and hold on to that HOPE that I will be with him again.. but, THAT DOES NOT MAKE IT EAISER... this is a trial that most people my age don't experience.. and I really do wish that I could take the pain from those that do go through this, because its heavy and it HURTS. It is something that we all have to wake up each day and FIGHT to get through it. Normal things are not normal... little things trigger that pain of missing him daily. Babies. Cute couples in the mall. WEEKENDS. Sundays. Holding hands. Every little thing... I miss. I cherish that I can remember how sweet our love is... but it makes it that much harder without my best friend. My CJ.. he really is the GREATEST thing that happened to me. He made me better and WE loved each other more than the rest. We always said that to each other too... we love the MOST. Life is tough. Trying to fight each day to do things that CJ would want me to... Fighting to live a life that CJ would want me to... is hard. I know he sends his love notes to me to keep me going.... but every day we fight to "keep on keeping on" CJ always said that... so that is what I do.