Tuesday, March 11, 2014

fighter.

Sometimes I think that CJ wants to kick me in the butt.. I miss him. He was always my biggest fan, my coach, and my best friend that always believed in me. Days are hard, he is always on my mind and in my heart. I am learning to carry it better and function, but it DOES NOT MAKE IT EAISER. I  will always carry him in my heart and hold on to that HOPE that I will be with him again.. but, THAT DOES NOT MAKE IT EAISER... this is a trial that most people my age don't experience.. and I really do wish that I could take the pain from those that do go through this, because its heavy and it HURTS. It is something that we all have to wake up each day and FIGHT to get through it. Normal things are not normal... little things trigger that pain of missing him daily. Babies. Cute couples in the mall. WEEKENDS. Sundays. Holding hands. Every little thing... I miss. I cherish that I can remember how sweet our love is... but it makes it that much harder without my best friend. My CJ.. he really is the GREATEST thing that happened to me. He made me better and WE loved each other more than the rest. We always said that to each other too... we love the MOST. Life is tough. Trying to fight each day to do things that CJ would want me to... Fighting to live a life that CJ would want me to... is hard. I know he sends his love notes to me to keep me going.... but every day we fight to "keep on keeping on" CJ always said that... so that is what I do.

5 comments:

Mussipitz said...

I am so sorry for your loss... and it breaks my heart to read your post...

It was just to early... But I hope you will find peace and love in your life... and not bitterness...

He won't be forgotten... but I hope for you the pain fades a little tiny bit, that your heart is not so heavy...

I stumbled a long time ago over this blog

http://emmaweaveradayinthelife.blogspot.de/

little bit the same but still different... anyway... there is still hope...

Lots of love from Germany

Andrea

The Kings said...

Love you Keri and I know how hard every day is, even when you have a smile on your face. I know CJ would be so proud of you xxx

Anonymous said...

<3

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Anonymous said...

Every time I read this blog, I wish I could carry your burden for awhile,
and give you some peace.

NOBODY should have to go through this,
it is the ultimate injustice of the universe.

Somehow I know you will be rewarded for your current sorrow,
but till then I can only say,
you have and will continue to be in my prayers..............